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Joke of the Day

"I really want to get on the mars one mission Because I'm against premartial sex"

"What's another name for a casket? Mourning wood."

"No tables? Maybe THIS will change your mind [slides maitre d' piece of paper that says ""It's my birthday""]"

"What's cold and always runs from a fight? Coward ice."

"Who has large antlers a high voice and wears white gloves ? Mickey Moose !"

"Last night I masturbated over my ex-girlfriend. I know it's not right, but she's a heavy sleeper and I still have a key."

"Need hospital etiquette advice. How long should you wait after they pull the plug to ask if you can use the socket to charge your phone?"

"Why did the pig join the Army? He heard the food was a mess."

"If Jesus were alive today...what type of car would he drive? A chrysler (Christler)"

"What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth hurty."