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Joke of the Day

"No tables? Maybe THIS will change your mind [slides maitre d' piece of paper that says ""It's my birthday""]"

"Who should we vote for the next president? Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3."

"Lets try it once A husband asks his wife to try anal...she says, Ohhhh that reminds me with the school days."

"Don't buy drinks from children on the side of the road. The money never really goes to aid for lemons."

"My ex-wife says I have 2 brains. One is a penis... ...and apparently, the other's an asshole."

"The cost of living has now gotten so bad... ...that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries."

"Hillary and Donald are in a plane that crashed. Who survived? The pilot who jumped out with a parachute."

"I can't understand my parents. I am 35 years old and they're still living with me."

"Someone -- always a man -- always asks ""does the ship run on generators?"" The Cruise Director usually tells them ""No we just have a very long power line running to the mainland."""

"Did you know that Vanilla Ice is now working as a computer literacy instructor? He's at the community college teaching word to your mother."