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Joke of the Day

"Need hospital etiquette advice. How long should you wait after they pull the plug to ask if you can use the socket to charge your phone?"

"A man goes to the library and asks for a book about suicide. The librarian stares at him for a while and then asks ""But who is going to bring it back?"""

"I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work... I opened my eyes and chilled - I'm at work."

"""Welcome to money management. Have you all paid your $200 entrance fee?"" ""Yes"" ""Excellent, never give money to strangers. Class dismissed"""

"I have been trying to find a new hobby So lately i have been drag racing. I win most of the time, it's hard for them to outrun me in heels"

"Why did the hipster drown in the lake? Because he went ice skating before it was cool."

"Joke What comes after 69?"

"Why did the orange fall out with the orange-peeler? Because he was taking the pith. /gets coat. bai."

"Knights and dragons must have been the first rappers. After all, dragons spit fire, and knights slay."

"Raccoons are like hobos, they live outside plus they don't like being shaved while they're eating."