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Joke of the Day

"George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity Just like one of his characters. (If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)"

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"With the ides of March around the corner Remember to stab your salad 23 times"
"I was wondering how close the twister was... The answer blew me away"
"What comes before OP? QWERTYUI"
"Why do you put a baby into a blender feet-first? So you can see the look on its face. How do you get said baby out of the blender? Tortilla chips."
"How do you tell when a woman is having an orgasm? Who cares?"
"""Hm. I love being bored and injured. I just wish it was also expensive and cold."" - the invention of skiing"
"Why should trees never sign birthday cards? Because they're always so *Sappy*!"
"Selling chewing gum. Mint condition."
"Jared likes his subs like he likes his kids. 6 and 12."