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Joke of the Day
"Jared likes his subs like he likes his kids. 6 and 12."
Next Joke
"What do you get if you fuck an Antarctic penguin? A Chilly Willy."
"I hope when I get old, my motorized wheelchair is fast enough the catch the ice cream truck."
"I got arrested for saying ""Hi!"" to my friend Jack The Air Marshall doesn't screw around"
"My favorite one liner ever!!! Last night I walked into a bar it hurt"
"I met a deaf gynecologist today.. Apparently, he reads lips. (Obligatory: posted this in /r/dadjokes, thought this sub might like it as well.)"
"So what do you say to an invisible man? Stand Clear."
"Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally had no arms. Knock knock ""Who's there?"" Not Sally"
"I went for a ride on my Vespa and nearly got hit by a Prius. That would've gone down in history as the gayest wreck EVER."
"{discussing wedding dresses} CW1: I had mine preserved. CW2: I donated mine to a charity. You? Me: I used mine as kindling for a bonfire."