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Joke of the Day

"Selling chewing gum. Mint condition."

"I was in a good mood when suddenly twitter went down & I ran over a blind man, tasered a baby, killed a puppy & set myself on fire."

"Every time I walk into a Wal-Mart I think to myself, "" I've never seen so many of God's mistakes all in one place."""

"What is the best part about having sex with a gypsy on her period? When you finger her, you get your palm red for free."

"A gymnast walks into a bar. He gets a two point deduction and ruins his chances of getting a medal."

"Quebec lovers Why do Quebecers like to make love doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game at the same time!"

"Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11? Americans cant milk a cow for 14 years."

"I really think Miracle Whip lowered the bar for what constitutes a miracle."

"On a cold, late December day... ... the wall calendar looked across the room at the advent calendar and said: ""It looks like our days are numbered, pal""."

"I'd kill a two-year-old... ...to get with Casey Anthony"