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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby, can I take your derivative.... So I can lay tangent to those curves."

"How do you know if your neighbor voted for Trump? They've got a big burning ""t"" in their yard."

"Everyone's unique! For instance, I like milk in my coffee, but other people are dying of malnutrition."

"What do lawyers wear to court? Law suits"

"A guy says to a girl ""hey, can I smell your feet?"" She says ""NO!!"" ""Oh, it must be your pussy then."""

"*watches as both hands turn into devils* *looks over sink* HAND SATANIZER ""Oh, this is just great"""

"I saw a really cute girl and I wanted to get her number but... I got all choked up. Yeah, living in Compton is f*cked up, they got my wallet too."

"Q: When Do You Hurt a Midget? When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!"

"I am finally going to be rich someday... I've invested in toilet paper and funeral homes. 'Cause at some point, everyone has to go!"

"Why did the Bee get married? Because she found her honey!"