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Joke of the Day

"I am finally going to be rich someday... I've invested in toilet paper and funeral homes. 'Cause at some point, everyone has to go!"

"How to tell if you're girlfriend is TOO fat. When she sits on your face and you can't hear your stereo any more."

"Man, my car is so fast, it could outrun a man combined with a horse ""You mean Centaur, right?"" Ohhh somebody went to college ooohh"

"What's black and white and red all over? After it was stuck in traffic because of protesters blocking the freeway: a police car."

"You know why the fiscal year ends in March and not December? Because the next year starts with April Fools' day."

"Ghetto people are always naming their kids after stuff they cant afford: Mercedes, Diamond, Bentley, Pearl, Light Bill, Rent, Car Insurance."

"I think the 2016 Cubs would beat the 1908 Cubs. First, the 1908 Cubs are all dead. Second, the 2016 Cubs are all alive."

"TIFU by making an overused joke. Reddit"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper ? He sold his soul to Santa."

"When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?"