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Joke of the Day

"*watches as both hands turn into devils* *looks over sink* HAND SATANIZER ""Oh, this is just great"""

"Does heavy lifting make you dumb? Yes Cause counting to 10 has never been this hard before"

"Why did they call the masseuse sexist? He was massage-anistic.."

"Why do fat chicks give the best head? Because they have to."

"Why does carbon monoxide smell like fjbsjko"

"In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep."

"A sexy radical feminist walks out of a civil rights meeting with blood on her hands... ... When asked what happened, she replied: ""a small issue came up, and we had to cut it short"""

"Did you hear Miley Cyrus and her new boyfriend broke up? It wasn't twerking out."

"Microsoft just announced French tanks are available in World of Tanks... I'm not sure why I would want to play a game where I could only drive in reverse."

"[First date] Him:""Waiter!"" Waiter:""Sir?"" Him:""Could you check the toilets? My date has been gone 2 hours. Also, her coat has been stolen"""