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Joke of the Day

"A mushroom walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""We don't serve mushrooms here!"" So the mushroom says, ""Hey come on, I'm a fungi!"""

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Would you like a beer?"" Descartes says ""I think not"" and he drops dead."

"""Hey, Cyclops."" ""Hey, Cyclops, are you still dating Jean?"" ""No, Storm, we broke up. You could say she's my..."" *lowers sunglasses* *eye beams obliterate Storm*"

"When a cop asks if you know why they pulled you over, smile, take their hand in yours and say, ""Sounds like somebody needed a friend"""

"Holy Week joke: What was Jesus doing on Holy Saturday? Just chilling."

"What do you call a jewish pokemon trainer? Ash."

"Nostalgia ain't what it used to be"

"TIFU while having sex on an elevator Hey-ooo"

"Please stop throwing my only possession. ~dogs everywhere"

"What do walruses and tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."