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Joke of the Day

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino!"

"If you ever feel scared that someones watching you... Don't worry, i'm right under your bed if you need someone to talk to."

"Women belong in the kitchen. Men belong in the kitchen. Everyone belongs in the kitchen. Kitchen has the food, guys"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was ""GWWAAAANNNEEEHHHAARRRR"""

"I went to a dinner party for anorexics. There was an all-you-can't-eat buffet."

"How do these people survive"

"Can February March? No. But April May. yep."

"I've never really got the point of herbs and seasoning... I just think it's a waste of thyme."

"Fucking dick shit condoms"

"[first date] HER: if you had to give up one of your senses which one would you choose? ME: definitely my ability to see dead people. HER:"