121908

Joke of the Day

"Two things you need to know about me: 1. I am hung over. 2. Sometimes I say the word over for no reason."

"Exactly 4 years ago, I asked my college crush out. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up."

"How many Jersey girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. They'll screw anything"

"Good joke [SERIOUS] ^ title"

"When John Wayne died, he had 40 pounds of fecal matter in his intestines. It sounds like a lot of shit, but it's true."

"What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play? ""Don't get your sheets dirty!"""

"My aunt passed away recently... She died of adult onset sudden infant death syndrome."

"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the living room furniture."

"What does a skeleton use to carry his bones? A CART-ilage"