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Joke of the Day

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes harmonica."

"you deserve more than a guy who wears t-shirts with ""witty"" sayings that he bought from jcpenney."

"What's the best way to increase the size of your bank balance? Look at it through a magnifying glass."

"What did the accountant with constipation do? He worked is out with a pencil."

"What does someone have when he can tell you how many guys are in a crowd? Acumen."

"Two priest walk into bar and disappointed... there are no young boys there."

"If you're cold go and stand in the corner... I've heard they're about 90 Degrees."

"Psychic: reads my mind My mind: waelcome to my kitchennnnnn.... We have bananis...... And avocadi"

"A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, ""Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"" He says, ""Why? Are my eyes bulging?"""

"Nietzsche: God is dead God: Nietzsche is dead [they both turn to camera] THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT OUR MATTRESS PRICES"