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Joke of the Day

"What is a dog covered in poo called? A SHIT-szu. I thought of this due to the fact that my Shitszu came inside covered in mud."

"Have you heard about the recent discovery about that moon of Jupiter? Although it is very exciting, astronomers maintain that its Loki."

"An apple a day... Keeps the non-binary away"

"Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled? His toga size went from L to XL."

"I now pronounce you internet boyfriend and girlfriend. You may put your hand down your pants and kiss your phone."

"If I looked down and saw Steve Buscemi between my legs, I'm pretty sure I'd think I was having a miscarriage."

"Stepping on a #LEGO sucks. But showing a bunch of kids I know how to use the F word as a noun/verb/adjective in one sentence is good, right?"

"911: what's your emerg- ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT 911: ...why would you interrupt me like that?"

"When I die I really hope that as a ghost I can travel and not be stuck in one place. I have people to scare and some I want to see naked."

"ovens are insane ""oh thats just my box of invisible fire i heat dead things in"""