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Joke of the Day

"ovens are insane ""oh thats just my box of invisible fire i heat dead things in"""

Next Joke
 
"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag? You take the f out of ""safe"" and the f out of ""way""."
"A man with Alzheimer's walks into a bar."
"Why don't hipsters like fishing? It's too mainstream."
"What do you find in the filing cabinets of a law firm? Organised crime."
"i have been trying to teach my dog to speak English.... but his skills are ruff"
"A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer."
"My 6 year old nephew is legitimately pissed off that there is no actual monkey in the monkey bread."
"How many nice guys does it take to screw a lightbulb? 0 cause they'll compliment it then get pissed off when it won't screw"
"What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon? The Bear Glare."