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Joke of the Day

"So I heard you like cheese sticks What are you, a gay cheese?"

"What did the square say to the blob? You're out of shape."

"I haven't got a Twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I'm doing at random times. So far I've got 3 followers but I think 2 are cops."

"Boss: Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact? Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me."

"Freddie Mercury: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me Chorus of Dads: HI JUST A POOR BOY, I'M DAD! SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY"

"What did one lawyer say to the other? ""we are both lawyers."""

"Why was the dictionary on the top shelf more expensive than the one on the bottom... Because it was a higher definition"

"I don't see the issue with microcephaly. Personally, I love a little head."

"""But mom! I don't like grandma."" ""Keep quiet, son, and finish your plate."""

"Man with premature ejaculation seeks understanding woman. Nevermind, I'm done."