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Joke of the Day

"I haven't got a Twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I'm doing at random times. So far I've got 3 followers but I think 2 are cops."

"My Mom asked me to help her sign up to Twitter so I did and she's really enjoying Google Plus."

"Morpheus: ""You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and--"" Me: ""Blue pill."""

"Why did Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL player, say he doesn't shop at Sports Authority? Because he prefers Dick's."

"What do you call 10 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hareline"

"Why did the chicken soup cross the road? Because it was down hill!"

"What do you call a horse getting carried away with a magic marker? A zebra."

"How do epileptics keep fit? With strobe lights."

"What is an astronaut's favorite meal? Launch"

"What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ? A gooseberry is green !"