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Joke of the Day

"My dad: See, when you said you'd met a ""special someone"" we thought... Me: Go on. My dad: Me: [taking hold of the penguin's flipper] GO ON."

"I Once Tried to Break the World Record for Most Records Broken Suffice to say, the employees at Village Music World were not happy with me."

"How do you take a screenshot of a picture of a circumcision? Using the snipping tool"

"""Honey, can you bring me a roll of toilet paper?"" Toilet paper- ""I have a boyfriend"""

"I have a friend called Rick that was recently turned into cotton... we have to call him Threadrick now. I thought of this joke on the way to buy my lunch today, I hope it's not already been made."

"We all know that 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but do you know why 9 is afraid of 6? Because she bit his dick last time"

"What do reddit and Playboy magazine have in common? No one actually reads the articles."

"How is a computer like an air conditioner? They both stop working properly when you open windows."

"Sobering fact: Humans share over 99% of our DNA with clowns"

"Why did the tear testify in court? Because he was an eye wetness."