159940

Joke of the Day

"Insult Joke P1: Why did the chicken cross the road? P2: Why? P1: To get to the little bitch's house. P1: Knock knock P1: Who's there? P2: The chicken"

"I lost 12 pounds in a week. Good thing I'm not a big investor."

"Me: Can I dip my breadstick in your Alfredo sauce? Him: Usually it's me asking you that. 13YO: SHUT UP. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

"I watched 'The Gods Must Be Crazy' for the first time. I don't want to talk about it."

"You know whats the problem with Proctologists.... They always butt in."

"If you watch The Blindside backwards, Sandra Bullock becomes so disappointed in her black son that she abandons him on the side of the road."

"wow thanks for dying grandpa that shit is blowing up my Facebook"

"I like my sheds the way I like my strip clubs... ...dark and full of hoes"

"The hardest part about coaching Little League is remembering not to say, ""MOTHERFUCKER FIRST FUCKING BASE GODDAMMIT SHIT!!!"" all the time."

"Pennies from heaven would actually be quite devastating."