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Joke of the Day

"the main use of the tiny toe (the smallest toe in your foot) is finding corners of furniture in the dark"

"I wish I had remembered this was a rectal thermometer before I'd put it in my mouth for 3 minutes."

"Single and divorced men in their 40's prefer women at their own maturity level. That explains why they date women half their age."

"Hard to believe the Cubs last won the World Series 108 years ago. Most of them don't look a day over 30."

"Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary? Because they'll always have the last word."

"If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work."

"I'm getting the band back together.... We're called New Direction."

"Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. "

"Her: Stop being absurd. Just be yourself. Me: Make up your mind."

"""That goddamn janitor drew a dick on the chalkboard again!"" (Bad Will Hunting.)"