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Joke of the Day

"A Programmer goes to the store to buy groceries... .... and while he's there, his wife calls and says: ""While you're out, get some eggs."" He never returns."

"When people see ghosts, why aren't they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?"

"What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur? A Lickalotopus"

"The Internet manages to show how far Homo Sapeins have come while simultaneously showing how far they haven't."

"As a Florida resident... at least I'll have medical marijuana to treat the fucking cancer this election has given me. I won't even need a lighter, seeing as the country is already on fire."

"The only things that defy gravity are women... ...the heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up."

"If they cause you to have anxiety & panic attacks the majority of your relationship, move on. In related news, I just broke up with my mom"

"Why are broken vibrators so rare? Because they are hard to come by."

"[OC] I just thought of this joke when my dad and I were talking about stereotypical jokes What did the dog say to his wife? You're a bitch."

"You can't keep two ducks alone together It's a paradox."