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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish... Give a man a fish and he'll throw it out and go to McDonald's. Teach a man to fish, and nope, still McDonald's."

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"[Biker gang] ME: Do we or do we not ride our bikes at the same speed? BIKER: OK, but you need to stop saying we ""synchronize our cycles."""
"What do you call a women with two brain cells? Pregnant with twins"
"Remember, freedom isn't free. If you're with the military-industrial complex, it can be incredibly profitable."
"I'd love to get in touch with Emilio Esteves. Does anyone have his emailio addressteves?"
"What does a trumpet player use as contraception? His personality."
"I lost 140 unwanted, useless, life-sucking pounds - in only 6 weeks! I got a divorce."
"Why'd the apple jump in the grinder? He was suicider."
"How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path"
"where do y'all wanna go tonight? Bars? The club? ""THE BOG OF DESPAIR"" Gary, after the forest of skulls debacle you don't get to pick anymore"
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