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Joke of the Day

"I asked the local prostitute if she could do something kinky so she put a set of jumper cables up my ass... Don't get me wrong, I liked it, but I couldn't believe how much she charged me!"

"Hillary should make Bernie the ambassador to Japan. His knowledge of harpooning whales will definitely help bridge the cultural divide."

"What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering? A Boa Constructor"

"How do Jewish kids learn to count? 10% off, 20% off, 30% off"

"What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe? Mitosis!"

"A dung beetle walks into a bar. He says, ""Is this stool taken?"""

"I overheard a midget complaining to a police officer that his pocket had been picked. The officer said 'I can't believe anyone would stoop that low."

"A snake walks into a bar And the bartender yells, ""How the fuck did you just walk in here?!"""

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Damn!"

"If only women knew that being happy with themselves is the most attractive quality they can ever offer."