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Joke of the Day

"Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you."

"There's a lot of speculation about the new iPhone. It's expected to have a larger screen and a better operating system. Yes, the new iPhone will be called last year's Samsung Galaxy."

"Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto? Because he's not a planet."

"As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola, I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror and I think that says alot"

"I wake up easy most of the time, but every now and then, I wake up hard."

"My friend got a job as a metronome. I said, is that a regular thing?"

"I'm not insulting you.. I'm describing you.."

"I don't bring pooper scoopers when I walk my dog I would, but my dog doesn't give a shit"

"How is the world like a bag of jellybeans? Nobody likes the black ones."

"Q: Why did the invisible man look in the mirror? A: To make sure he still wasn't there."