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Joke of the Day
"How is the world like a bag of jellybeans? Nobody likes the black ones."
Next Joke
"I kayak. Canoe?"
"Do you ever pretend like you didn't see something so the other person doesn't feel embarrassed."
"What is Dracula's favorite pudding? Leeches and scream."
"Congratulations, ""journalists"" who tell celebrity gossip for a living. I didn't know you could get a degree in teenage girl."
"Father Christmas: Excuse me but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!"
"A doctor reaches into his pocket and finds his rectal thermometer He says ""Shit, some asshole took my pen!"""
"The worst number in the world. 6.9 it's 69 interrupted by a period"
"When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, ""OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?... hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."""
"I always squat on the floor, wrap my arms around my knees and lean forward Cause that's how I roll."