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Joke of the Day
"things u don't want to here at the doctors office (during prostate exam) 'look no hands'"
Next Joke
"The worst part of Aquaman's day is when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal."
"What do you call a terrorist from Paris? A Paririst"
"I might be OCD, but I'm not falling for that check engine bullshit. It's there."
"*pushes math homework away in 1990* I'll never need this *getting yelled at by subway customer in 2014* I WANT THE BREAD CUT LIKE A RHOMBUS"
"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? -> He uses the finest ingredients."
"Why is Peter pan always flying? Because he neverlands"
"Me: I like how you dyed all the meat green for St. Patrick's Day. Chipotle manager: It's St. Patrick's Day?"
"a gun is like a blow up doll You get off when you use it .... except it can kill someone."
"Reasons to bake a cake after the kids go to bed: 1. To surprise them with it. 2. So they never know you ate an entire cake without sharing."