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Joke of the Day

"It makes me a little sad that shaking a vending machine might be the closest I ever come to fighting a robot."

"DOG BOSS: Any messages for me? DOG ASSISTANT: just one from Mr. Agoodboy DOG BOSS: who's Agoodboy? DOG ASSISTANT: *tail starts wagging*"

"Joke about North Korea! [deleted]"

"Dear women, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest ..... Eat a banana!"

"I'm a married white male; my forefathers saw to it that I'm not allowed to be offended by anything."

"What's orange and can't climb a tree? Donald Trump."

"A man is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy: ""Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared."" Man: ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."""

"My tattoos aren't braille, so do not sneak up to me & begin to feel them. Unless you're hot, then you get the secret taste option."

"""And the Oscar for Best Actress goes to.....Beyonce?"" *Kanye slowly sits down*"

"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But a tooth is worth half an eye, so an eye for two teeth also works, if you're out of eyes."