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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Know how fast you were going? ""55?"" Cop: Faster. ""217."" Cop: Um, no, 72. ""24?"" Cop: I already told y- ""Negative 6?"" Cop: Get out."

"I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast."

"Of course Donald Trump has a big dick. How did you think he was going to fuck all of America from the White House?"

"What is a knight's favourite fish? A swordfish!"

"What are red heads good for? Lighting fires."

"A man walks into a bar. Ouch."

"My mothers nearly 80 and she still doesn't need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle!"

"What do you call a black guy who plays the piano? a pianist"

"I still don't understand why my boss didn't like my idea of playing musical chairs at our next Monday meeting. He asked us for new ideas."

"Tonight on My Strange Addition Man addicted to brake fluid claims he can stop at any time"