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Joke of the Day

"I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast."

"What do you call the Scottish dentist ? Phil McCavity !"

"What does a rich physicist wear? Joulery!"

"Why doesn't Barbie have kids? Cause Ken cums in another box..."

"Whenever I conduct a job interview I ask the applicant to name their favorite Muppet, and no matter the answer I scowl and shake my head."

"First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil."

"Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11? Americans can't milk the cow for 14 years."

"I wanted to tell you a joke about my favourite Michael Jackson album but it's Bad"

"What does a pizza boy and a gynecologist have in common? They both can smell it, but not eat it. Yes I know it's a repost. What did you expect, a new original joke every time? Now that's a joke."

"I took this girl home after our date... Her: When you said magical in bed this isn't what I expe- Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card? Her: *softly* holy shit"