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Joke of the Day

"What is a knight's favourite fish? A swordfish!"

"I am currently upset at my mom for having me. I didnt ask to be here. Now I have all these damn bills."

"If you have an Oculus Rift... Then you're Luckey."

"What is time consuming? Eating a watch. . . . . Note: This is not my joke, credit goes to /u/Cokenut, and /u/Fluffy8x for setting him up."

"*Lying in hospital Doctor)Your back is broken in 6 places. You may never walk again Me)At least I got all the groceries in one trip"

"[Walmart customer service] ME: i want to talk to the manager. MANAGER: hi sir is there a problem? ME: no, i just want to talk."

"In light of the holiday Season... What do you call the alphabet with only 25 letters? Noe(L) ...no L.... im going to walk away now.. sorry"

"I just thought of the most badass hobbit name: Oak Smashfoot. Oh god, I'm so tired."

"A book just fell on my head. I only have, my-shelf to blame. :3"

"Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers? they only had one pickup"