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Joke of the Day

"What did the velociraptor say after his workout? I'm a little dino-sore."

"My friends are like the square root of -1 They're imaginary."

"I'd be more inclined to get in a stranger's van if he was offering free wifi instead of candy."

"What's the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick's day? Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day."

"I Was Accused Of Being A Paedophile Today... Now who wants a sweet?"

"The lifeguard caught me peeing in the pool, today. He shouted so loud I nearly fell in."

"Two Tomatos A father tomato and son tomato were walking down the street. The son was falling behind so the father turned around and **STOMPED** on his son. ""**KETCHUP!**"""

"A guy barges into a psychiatrist's office, and screams... ""Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!"" The doctor calmly answers ""Pay me in advance"""

"Have you heard of the two Mexican firemen? Hose-A and Hose-B."

"Our cats aren't enjoying the 90-degree heat. But I refuse to apologize for climate change until they apologize for pissing on the carpet."