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Joke of the Day

"Why did Sally fall off her swing? Because she had no arms"

"Working on my resume. How do I spin ""total mess"" into a marketable skill?"

"Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it."

"Gift horse ""My gums are bleeding."" Dentist ""Well this is a professional dilemma..."""

"Believe what a plumber says They've seen some shit."

"Is knowing of collapse of supermarket in Latvia? Is sad but now has five more potato for all of Latvia."

"I finally figured out the problem with our firewall last night. It was a real breakthrough! //Actually used that this morning. Manager did not notice, I did not explain."

"""Usain Bolt, Trump regrets/ Gawker downed by Hogan's sex/ Manafort, Putin's pet/ Lochte lies then hops on jet/ We didn't start the fire..."""

"When it comes to music..... Nobody beats The Jackson 5. Except for their dad. That guy beat the shit out of those kids."

"White people be loving the shit out of fall foliage."