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Joke of the Day

"Waitress: 'Do u have any questions about the menu?' Me: 'What kind of font is this?'"

"Wife: It's date night! Me: So, a movie, and... You still have that school uniform? W: Yes. *winks* M: Maybe you can get a student discount."

"Why do women live on average two years longer? Because the time they spend parking doesn't count"

"Why can't Sluts Count to 70? Because 69's a mouthful!"

"wow, i thought what we had was special, you met my family and made me dinner, now you say you're a ""waiter"" and you're just ""doing your job"""

"When I'm backing out of a parking spot I like to just close my eyes and gun it because anythings possible through Jesus Christ"

"Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I'm sobering up."

"In high school, everyone called me the bus driver. Because I was the bus driver."

"How do you get three gay men off your couch Jerk one off, the other two will come"

"The trampoline used to be called a jumpoline until your mum jumped on it"