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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the hermit in the storm cloud? I heard the advice he gives is enlightning!"

"[at Red Lobster] WAITRESSES: *run toward me* ME: Red Lobster! WAITRESSES: *stop* ME: Green Lobster! WAITRESSES: *run* MANAGER: Okay, SIR..."

"A man walk into a doctors room with a frog hanging out of his ear. ""What on Earth happened?"" The doctor said, surprised. ""I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse."" the frog said."

"Gravity walks into a bar in space And shit goes **down**"

"British people must really like Leia in the new Star Wars movie. Stiff upper lip!"

"What's the difference between virgin olive oil and regular olive oil? Popeye's knob."

"But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more to be the man who walked 1000 miles to get away from you. I want a divorce."

"What do you call a fish with no eye? fsh"

"My new washing machine plays a tune very similar to an ice cream truck when it's finished. There's no ice cream in there. I checked. Twice."

"If candy bars can be called cereal bars to make them sound healthy then why can't alcohol be called cereal drink?"