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Joke of the Day

"Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East? Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East."

"Gandalf is the new coach of the Seattle Seahawks."

"When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it's perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach's."

"Sometimes a family is walking towards you taking up the entire sidewalk and you have no choice but to just become part of that family."

"I need to stop seeing caution tape as some kind of finish line."

"Why do Marxists drink herbal tea? Because all proper tea is theft."

"I won't be gratified sexually until someone dumps one of those big Gatorade containers on me after."

"*Woman throws a drink in my face but I swallow it all perfectly*"

"Honk if you are possessed by the vengeful spirit of a goose"

"Why did the blonde call the welfare office? She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!"