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Joke of the Day

"When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it's perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach's."

"What do you call a fake thong (flipflop)? A scandal!"

"How do calculus students feel about undefined slopes in Cartesian planes? Indifferential."

"A guy walks into a restaurant with his friend. The server ask what he wants to drink and he say H2O. His friend says he will have H2O to. His friend is no longer alive."

"What do you call a three humped camel? Pregnant. (Credit goes to the trailer of Zootopia)"

"How do Jedi warm up for sexy time? Forceplay"

"Last night I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted."

"Patient: Doc, my stomach is killing me. DR DOG: *scratches chin* Have you tried eating grass?"

"An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor... An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor with a torn chiton, asks the tailor, ""Eumenides?"" The tailor responds, ""Euripedes?"""

"What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee you racist fuck."