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Joke of the Day

"Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood."

"I sleep better naked and it's more comfortable WHY CAN'T THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT UNDERSTAND THIS?"

"I broke up with my penis, so I wrote a song... Called ""So Long""."

"*shoots self in the foot and screams in agony for 20 seconds* *hits 'stop recording' on outgoing voicemail message*"

"Don't spell ""part"" backward! It's a trap."

"What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent? An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO"

"An Eskimo is holidaying in New Zealand.. His car breaks down. A Kiwi stops to help, opens the bonnet, and says ""Bro, you've blown a seal"" To which the Eskimo responds ""so what mate, you fuck sheep!"""

"Short Brit joke. Imagine bonfire night in America. The population would go down before you can even say 'happy bonfire night'"

"Did you hear about Disney's new Tick Tock Crock ride? It's killer."

"*2 pieces of bread being held hostage* bread 1: any way you slice it we're toast bread 2: we're dead wheat me: did my breakfast just talk"