132014

Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor my hair keeps falling out can you give me anything to keep it in ? Yes here is a paper bag !"

"The rich need it, the homeless has it and if you eat you'll die. Answear: Nothing! The rich don't need anything, the homeless has nothing and if you eat nothing you'll die."

"I discovered I have a fetish for figuring things out. (X-post /r/puns) I came to the realization."

"Where does Fred Weasley shop? Forever 21."

"There's a new hair salon opening in Mordor! Appointment only, no walk-ins."

"Why is revenge a dish best served with honey? Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)"

"Why doesn't anyone let Trump go fishing with them anymore? He always takes the bait..."

"I'm the most indecisive person I know... At least, I think I am.."

"If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your head-lights what happens?"

"I always give 110%. Oops. Left out the decimal point. I always give 1.10%."