215427

Joke of the Day

"[pitching movie] ""It's Titanic..."" Go on ""from the iceberg's perspective"" holy shit"

"So I'm talkin' to a giant squid monster and I sez to him ""What's kraken?"" (badum chh)"

"SRS bait. How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her."

"Why didn't the paraplegic look in the mirror? He couldn't stand to see himself like that."

"What did Delaware? Idaho. Alaska"

"What do you call an overweight homosexual? Jigglypuff."

"I got a dog from the blacksmiths the other day... As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door."

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? He's alright now."

"Me: ""Get me a newspaper.""Friend: ""Don't be silly. Here. Borrow my iPad."" Poor spider never knew what hit it."

"Say what you will about pedophiles... ...but they do slow down in school zones!"