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Joke of the Day

"What did Delaware? Idaho. Alaska"

"I never loved you any more than I do, right this second. And I'll never love you any less than I do, right this second."

"With as much as Adobe nags me to update, I feel like I should have its surname and be making it sandwiches all the time."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb. Yes, I know this is a 30+ year old joke, but hope it gave some people a chuckle"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"What did the police officer say to his stomach? I've got you under a vest."

"Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff? She had mittens on."

"A British man visits Australia. The customs officer asks ""Do you have a previous criminal history?"" The visitor replies ""I didn't realize that was still a requirement"""

"I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight."

"You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body."