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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about pedophiles... ...but they do slow down in school zones!"

"Boss: ""You're an hour late!"" Guy who is about to invent daylight savings time: ""Haven't you heard?"""

"Our baby now can clap which I believe qualifies him to be a member of an infomercial audience."

"HOW TO SURVIVE IN THE WILDERNESS: Call someone and have them come pick you up."

"I'm trying get a job as a geometry teacher... Because I want to make at least 6 figures."

"How do you make black people break out into song? Put em' to work!... On a gospel record."

"What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl in the 1940s? With a dustpan."

"Oldest known British Joke from 10th century AD. What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key"

"Have you guys heard about the Indian coat check? His name was Mahatma Coat."

"Why did John Snow get an iPhone? For the watch."