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Joke of the Day

"I was at the theatre seeing a tragedy and the man behind me started wailing. I got hit in the head with a harpoon."

"How did the pharmacist know his drink was spiked? He fainted after the punch line."

"What do you call your girlfriend after a tough workout? Sorbet"

"The inventor of throat lozenges has died. There'll be no coffin at his funeral."

"""Why did he win?! Anyone who supports Trump is nuts!"" said the Hillary supporter, fully unaware that cashews alone outnumber humans 50 to 1 ..."

"4yo: Raise your hand if you are young Me: *raises hand 4yo: No, daddy, not you."

"The worst part about being introduced to new people is the panic moment where I think ""Pay attention! Pay attention!!!"" and miss their name."

"A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and then his wife didn't speak to him for 6 months. It was part of the deal"

"Not in a hurry - Alcoholism Is A Slow Death! - And we are not in a hurry!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Balloon ! Balloon who ? Balloon velvet !"