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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the cop save the hippie from drowning? He was too far out man"

"What did the ventriloquist say to their friend? Nothing. He's mute. I don't even think he's as ventriloquist."

"What did the programmer from the biker gang say? ""It ain't gonna be soft where my engine nearing!"""

"Hyperboles are the most overused thing in the universe."

"Parenting Hack: slide a little cash your kid's teacher's way, & all of his crafts projects will ""mysteriously"" disappear after being graded."

"What do you call fans who take a trilogy way too seriously? Christians, Muslims, and Jews."

"How do you put spaghetti to sleep? You cover it in peanut butter until it dies. My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this."

"I broke up with my girlfriend, who is an Optometrist She meant well, but she was just too annoying in bed. She was always saying, ""So, do you like it better like this.... or like this?"""

"Why can't Chuck Norris complete forms and applications on the internet? Because he can't bring himself to click the ""submit"" button."

"You'd think your skeleton would get soggy, but doesn't. Good work, skeleton."