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Joke of the Day

"What do you call fans who take a trilogy way too seriously? Christians, Muslims, and Jews."

"*hires skywriter* YOU CAN'T BLOCK ME"

"I like my women how I like my file systems. FAT and 32"

"Why do women shit?"

"Me: I love you Him: you just drank 1/4 of your beer through your nostril Me: that is also true"

"Doctor: ""We got your test results back. I'm so sorry--it's Curiosity."" Cat: ""Oh my god..."""

"A woman went to the bar with a black eye. ""How'd ya get that?"" asked the bartender. ""From my husband,"" she replied. ""But I thought he was out of town?"" he asked. ""So did I!"" she said."

"Police officer: Have you had anything to drink? Me:No PO:Ok, blow into here Me:But there are no candles PO:Ma'am please get out of the car"

"What has wings a long tail and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!"

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. So only become emotionally invested with boomerangs and dogs."