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Joke of the Day

"What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath? ...throw a load of dirty laundry in."

"Girls pants are like a cheap hotel... ... no ballroom."

"You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds."

"China's stock market is down again We should have seen it coming. The red flags were everywhere."

"To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris."

"fooling around I was sucking off this bird last night when I thought, ""Wait a minute..."""

"My Christmas tree is on a timer It lights up everyday at 4:20"

"I may not be the sharpest sandwich in the tree, but put my pants on one sleeve at a time just like you. Do you have any cookies?"

"[grocery store] Ok, milk... Check! Eggs... Check! Tomatoes... Check! ""Sir, can you wait for the total and just write one check please?"""

"Never Trust An Atom They make up everything"