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Joke of the Day
"Jesus, take the wheel! *steering wheel disappears* *car careens into tree*"
Next Joke
"how do you get a 78 year old lady to scream f**k?! get another 78 year old lady to yell BINGO! waka waka!"
"Where do cows go when they die? Burgertory"
"If you can't handle me at my worst that makes sense and I'm sorry for setting your house on fire."
"When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb"
"New camper: I thought you said this camp has no mosquitoes. Old camper: That's right. These mosquitoes come from the camp down the road!"
"Father: *places hand on shoulder* My son..... *Son: Yes father? *Father: Check out this cool severed hand I just found! editted for format, which I suck at apparently"
"Are you the new English teacher? Yes I are."
"if you wake up.... If you wake up in the middle of the woods and your butt hurts would you tell anyone? No! Wanna go camping?"
"How do you fix a woman's watch? Why should you? There's a clock on the oven."