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Joke of the Day

"In Florida, a couple has been accused of making meth in a public library. Isn't that crazy? Florida has a library. -Conan Monologue June 12, 2014"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Button ! Button who ? Button in is not polite !"

"I was two girls away from a threesome last night!!!"

"If you've ever taken a baby to a movie, please set yourself on fire. Thanks."

"If the opposite of pro is con... Wouldn't the opposite of progress be the congress?"

"If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it."

"How did the crazy man get across the forrest? He took the psycho path. ( )"

"Just bought gas for $1.32/gallon. Don't own a car but couldn't pass up the bargain."

"How did Freddie Mercury do in school? He got straight ""gays"""

"dad: I can't find my glasses, can you read what this says for me? me: ""Dad do you want to go to Home Depot"" dad: [voice catching] Sure son"