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Joke of the Day

"I took the batterys out of my carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to."

"The milk in my fridge is so old it thinks Elvis Presley's dancing is inappropriate."

"Q: What goes: click click click ""Now? FUCK!"" click click click ""Now? FUCK!"" etc... A: A blind guy working a Rubix cube."

"Are you a witch? Cause I heard you like riding broomsticks."

"How does a coat steal something? They jacket"

"How did Jared lose 30 pounds? He dumped his girlfriend."

"(Anxiety/Depression joke) I'm always exhausted... except for my nervous energy."

"Why aren't Jewish Youtube celebrities's work viewed at night? Because they're stars-of-day-vids."

"What did one crow say to the other? Caw dude?"

"What happens when you put the batteries in backwards in an Energizer Bunny? It keeps cumming and cumming and cumming...."