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Joke of the Day

"Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me Me: that's really sweet Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse"

"I just found out I'm colour blind The diagnosis came completely out of the green. (Courtesy of a family member)"

"Miracles do happen even on Facebook and Twitter. Come Sunday and suddenly everyone becomes a preacher."

"What's 20 feet long and smells like piss? It's a line dance at the old folks home..."

"Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file."

"I'm not a racist.... I'm not a racist, Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people. Also Whats black and doesn't work? Half of london"

"Doctor Doctor I've got bad teeth foul breath and smelly feet. Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog."

"[NSFW] I like to wait outside hospitals Because I like my MILFs fresh."

"What goes into something hot hard and covered in plastic and comes out soft and wet A frozen pizza with its wrapper left on"