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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator."

"I was going to drive to the shop to pick up some guacamole... ....but I don't avocado."

"If a woman with big boobs works at Hooters where does a woman with one leg work? IHOP"

"I installed a pedometer app on my phone But whichever direction I walk, I seem to be moving away from the kids."

"My penis is only four inches But some girls like it that wide."

"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate."

"*uses handkerchief* Well now that this is used, it seems I won't be blowing my nose again til laundry day."

"Fey items are full of irony."

"You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to."

"My computer's RAM isn't that great... ...but it still has faster processing than the DMV."